Man Utd’s £200m Summer Plan: Can Amorin, Mbembe, and Martinho Save the Red Devils’ Season?

The Myth of £200M

I’ve spent ten years mapping Brazilian favelas through Python-driven xG models—only to watch English clubs treat financial chaos like art. Manchester United’s rumored £200m summer plan? It’s not recruitment. It’s a funeral for identity wrapped in managerial delusion.

Amorin Isn’t a Fix

Amorin fits no system. His movement is too slow for a 4-3-3 that doesn’t exist here. Heatmaps show his runs are erratic—not dynamic, but desperate. He doesn’t solve problems; he creates them. A center-forward who plays on the edge of the pitch with no clear role? We’re not signing talent—we’re buying ghosts.

Mbembe: The Ghost in the Box

Mbembe was supposed to be our answer. But his transfer history reads like a Portuguese novel written by an analyst who once lived in Rio’s favelas—and still dreams of glory in Belgrade. He wasn’t signed—he was auctioned off at midnight after failing to fit into any system.

Martinho: The Keeper Who Wasn’t There

Martinho? He never kept goal properly. His saves were inconsistent—his errors predictable as an old man screaming into silence on Matchday night in Belgrade Plaza, where even the wind whispers through empty corridors.

Data Doesn’t Lie—But People Do

We’ve got heatmaps showing every run they tried to make fit—but they don’t align with reality. We need structure—not superstition. If you sign three names because they sound exotic, you’re not building a team—you’re decorating an obituary.

The numbers don’t lie—but your heart does.